REVIEW: Baywatch

Thefanboyseo.com offers its review for the film Baywatch starring Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron and directed by Seth Gordon. Opens today (May 31)

The fabled Baywatch movie is finally here and would you believe that this is a movie that a lot of fans have been waiting for for a long time; and we’re not talking about the TV movie.

Through the years the series has gained a lot of characters but movie version chose to limit the team to 6; there’s Mitch Buchanon, Stephanie Holden, CJ Parker, Matt Brody, Summer Quinn and Jon Bass as new lifeguard Ronnie. It makes it easier to keep them in check just like in the TV series.

Now before you prattle this and that, you have to understand that if you peel away everything that made Baywatch Baywatch, then you’ll have very little to go by. In fact, you can even tell the plot of an episode with only 500 words or even less. But that’s what makes Baywatch such an enjoyable TV show; its mindless and (at that point) relevant.

In this theatrical outing they swap David Hasselhoff’s Mitch with “the most electrifying man in sports entertainment” Dwayne Johnson as he leads his team of lifeguards in a case involving a sexy club owner, drugs and murder. He also has to contend with training his new set of lifeguards including the hot head Matt Brody (Zac Efron).

‘Baywatch’ was fun for me. It had ups and downs but it’s really an enjoyable picture. It’s not fresh and HAD to follow the Hollywood formula for action-comedies but that’s cool. Pinoy moviegoers are a fun crowd because their easy to please and I believe ‘Baywatch’ will do good here locally.

CRUDE, CRASS HUMOR BY THE BOATLOAD

I dunno about you guys but comedy standards now involve a lot of swearing. I didn’t mind that at all for the film. Hearing Johnson cursing around at Zac Efron though could be something for fans who grew up idolizing the former WWE Champion. We’ve also got dicks hanging around, limbs flying around, boobs jiggling around and a whole lot of sexual tension for two characters.

Vomits are also a thing for this film. And dry humping.

They did warn audience as early as the trailers that this isn’t your dad’s Baywatch. This is the ’21 Jump Street’ version of ‘Baywatch’. Redesigned for the modern audience and with a lot of dirty jokes sprinkled all around.

META EVERYWHERE

Baywatch is meta as fuck or meta af. You’ve got to listen to the dialogue because that’s where 80% of the chuckles and laugh-out-loud moments come from. From Johnson continually name-calling Efron’s Brody to those meta moments where they reference the original TV series and even gives jokes about Efron’s shot to fame. There’s also a racist skit in the second act of the movie and then they move on from that.

Like I said, just like 21 Jump Street.

TnA Factor

I have no qualm if they call me a sexist for this review because come on man, pretty much every other scene had something “risque” or another. Hell, the casting alone of Alexandra Daddario was something that gave horny fanboys something to cheer on…

Or putting Kelly Rohrbach in as the 21st Century’s CJ Parker…

It doesn’t help too that their characters either wear skimpy bathing suits or bikinis. Oh and there are the boob jokes too. Even film baddie Leeds played by Priyanka Chopra gets to show some cleveland during her appearance.

COMEDY

Was the humor here sufficient? lacking? I’d go with lacking but only by a small factor. Yes they pushed the envelope in this one but they kinda lost their way while pushing it. Like for some centerpiece comedy scenes, I was asking “yun na yun?”. Could have done better. They really hit it when they do though. There’s this scene where they play a classic song and then it goes romantic then the dream is over. Something we’ve already seen in local comedy flicks from the 90s.

CRAPPY CG

The only real annoyance for Baywatch comes in the form of the CGI they used all throughout the movie. From horribly rendered backgrounds, ugly looking flames and hideous fireworks, they could have really put in more money towards the effects for the film; its really that obvious. It also distracts viewers from what they are supposed to focus on. It got me good around that green screen’ed scene where Efron talks about his balls.

VERDICT

8/10

“Baywatch” deserves your money but don’t expect much. Just sit back and munch on your popcorn and drink your iced tea or soda. It will entertain you for the 1 hour and 59 minutes you’re seated.

Special thanks to United International Pictures and Columbia Pictures Philippines.